About Time

My husband wanted to watch a Sci-Fi movie, so I went to all my usual recommendation places and stared at the usual list of movies we’ve already seen, interspersed with the occasional new arrival of an incredibly shitty looking movie with a rating of less than 2.  Of course there won’t be any (good) sci-fi movies that we haven’t already seen!  If there had been, we would have seen it in the theater.  But then, ranked pretty highly on the rating predictions (on TWO sites, no less.  TWO SEPARATE SITES thought I would like it), was “About Time”.

“I found a sci-fi movie we haven’t seen!” I called.
“Great, let’s watch it.”
“But you won’t like it!”
“…”
“Not only is it a rom-com, it’s a british rom-com!”
“I wanted a space movie.”
“You said sci-fi!  Look, it says sci-fi right there.  There’s time travel!”
“…….”

The premise of the movie is that a man discovers he has the ability to go back in time, and he uses it to try to make his life better.  The blurb says that he uses his time travel powers to make a girl love him, and it makes it sound like a comedy of errors where he fucks it up over and over again until he finally hits the right combination of actions to really hit it off romantically.  Which, to start with, is kind of creepy but it has some comedic potential, right??  In reality, that takes like 20 minutes and then the rest of the movie is about his relationship with his father.  So… that was kind of odd and unexpected, but at least it didn’t make the movie bad.

Lemme tell you.  Do not watch this movie if you have no tolerance for plot holes.  That’s sort of a standing rule with time travel movies, I suppose, but damn.  The very first thing his father says to him is “You can’t go forward in time, only back.”  So, not even five minutes later, he goes back in time, tries it out, and then immediately pops back to the moment he was at before.  Dude.  That is TOTALLY GOING FORWARD IN TIME.  You broke the rules ALREADY!  What they meant to say was that you can only travel to a moment you’ve already lived through, up to and including just a few moments ago, I guess.  But it still annoyed me >:(

The one that actually annoyed me, though, was when he tries to go back in time to stop a major event, only to discover that travelling past the birth of his child changes the exact sperm that was used to create the child, therefore changing his baby (unacceptable, after you’ve spent three years bonding with it already, I suppose).  This is the artificial limiter the movie uses to impose some sort of price on time travel.  If you have a baby, you can’t go back anymore because you’ll change it.  But, only that one sperm.  No butterfly effect on all the other shit going on, just the sperm is random.  So, horrified to learn that his child might not be the same child, he undoes what he did and sets everything back to normal.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait.  How did you set it back so that the exact sperm to make that exact child happened all over again?  God dammit, movie.  We’re not delving into parallel universes or some shit now, are we?  Don’t make me think about this shit >:(.  *shake fist*

I did actually enjoy the movie, but I feel like I was lied to by the description, which only actually described the exposition for the plot.  The movie didn’t really know what it was or where it was going until about halfway through, and it suffered a bit for it.  And then it lost a few points by going off the rails of preachiness at the end.  Yes, we get it, you don’t need time travel to have a wonderful life and you should enjoy every moment and blah de blah blah, let me go wipe all this sap off.  Like, it wasn’t sappy the whole way through, but it took a big huge cannonball dive into the tank at the end, jesus.

Apart from ALL of that bitching, though, it was pretty okay.  Maybe three stars, right smack in the middle of “okay”.  Which is less than both of those sites seemed to think I would like it.  Hopefully those sites have learned a little more about me, this day.